*sighs* Ever been burnt out?
I've been feeling, well.... off recently, and didn't really have a name to put to it. Then a posting came across a list I'm on, and I had an epiphany. This was EXACTLY how I'd been feeling.
*****Quoted*****
I know when it is me burning out, I just don't feel like doing my commitments anymore, I procrastinate and then feel bad about it.
I don't want anybody to know I'm not doing things properly, so I get kinda secretive and withdrawn.
I don't communicate anymore, and I get kinda irritable if people ask me how something is going, or if I'm ok, or if they offer to help.
I start to wonder if they are only asking because they know I'm screwing up :-)
[snipage]
*****End Quoted*****
Okay. So I've got a name for it. For the skipping classes, for the not doing homework. For not wanting to talk to anyone about school. For feeling guilty, but still procrastinating and avoiding the work.
Now. Anyone know how to FIX it? Sure, stop whatever it is you're doing that burns you out. But I can't. Or at least I feel that I can't. I'm a Physics major, and the courses I need to graduate are offered this year, or not again for two more years. Which means if I want to get on with my life, I have to take them NOW. And I have to take at least 12 credits, or lose my financial aid, which is the only thing keeping me in school right now. In this economy, I doubt I can find a job without a degree (and I'm not even sure I'll be able to find one _with_ a degree).
On top of all that, it's Valentine's Day (or at least it was until about 45 minutes ago). My boyfriend doesn't believe in Valentine's Day, calling it Singles Awareness Day, and scoffing at it. I try to respect that. He called me, he told me he loved me, he'll be coming to see me (I hope) when his car is fixed in a few days. But, ya know, a "Happy Valentine's Day" would have been nice. Or an email. Or...maybe even flowers? Or _something_ acknowledging the holiday. Sure, my mind tries to say "well, maybe he's just planning a surprise for when he sees you." No matter how many times I tell myself that, it never happens. I'm a romantic at heart. I ADORE getting little surprises. I don't know if he understands that. I've tried to tell him, but I don't know if he really gets it.
Well, even if he doesn't believe in it, he _is_ my Valentine. Today, and every day that we have been together. And he's just gonna have to learn to deal with it!!
posted by Katherine at 12:44 AM
